Today, families are stressed by too much work or other activities. The interactions that parents have with their children are primarily logistical and imperative in nature, such as “pick up your room,” “get on the bus,” and “don’t  [do this bad thing].” Many families are so overbooked that they cannot make time for quality interaction with their children. What is quality interaction? It is asking questions and hearing responses and then asking followup questions that show you care about your child and and further, that you care about the details of what they are experiencing and thinking. It is about subtly asking them questions that help them to develop into people with relative integrity. Instead of asking our children questions as we should, we provide them with answers, thinking “this is a quicker alternative, given our busy lives.” This approach frequently backfires. Why?

The questions that we pass down to our children are always more important than any answers our particular generation has. That is because questions acknowledge the children of future generation as fully human–as capable of doing more than reciting dogma “line upon line, precept upon precept.” Questions recognize the importance of the developmental process. Questions nurture independence, while answers attempt to extend ones generation’s locus of control outside of their rightful place.

A true heritage is one which empowers independent and prudent thinking through passing down thoughtful questions. A false heritage is one which, although often motivated by good intentions, alienates a generation from the thinking skills it will need to solve its unique problems; demonizes the intellectual vanguard, and emboldens psychophants.

That is why, ultimately, trueheritage.org does not endorse any particular dogma, but does tend to attract members who are interested in nurturing others’ capacities for understanding through thoughtful questioning.